When the Sun Had Risen

I am overwhelmed.
How could I not see it before?
Yet even now my head is spinning.
It’s as if the sun is shining brightly,
Reaching me through swirling, misty clouds.

What was it I said I wanted?
To beg His forgiveness?
To pay Him homage?
To have a second chance?
To start everything over again?
Helpless, hopeless longings of a failure.
Yet today they have been granted me!

I have seen my Lord!
Seen Him!
Jesus, the Messiah,
The crucified,

And–can you imagine?
He came to me.
I heard the news,
I had to see,
I ran and looked in–
John just stood there,
That glimmer that had barely flickered yesterday
Slowly growing to a wondering, peaceful joy
Across his whole face.

I didn’t know what to do.
I stumbled away as
Bits of His words came back.
Hope, unbidden, sprang up,
Almost suffocating me with joy,
Until I remembered–
I tried to kill it,
But the more I proclaimed my unworth
The more hope taunted me with the fact of
That empty tomb.

No, I had betrayed Him!
But He isn’t dead.
A deed like that can’t be forgotten!
But it has been overcome.
I can’t even look my brothers in the eye;
How could I face–
My Lord!

He came to me!
In the midst of my confusion of doubt and hope,
He came to me!
He spoke to me!

He told me–
Well, He spoke
To me.
Words I can’t, I needn’t repeat.
But let me assure you,
I am–oh, I am forgiven!
He has restored me!
He has received me!
He has reminded me
That He knew I would fail,
And with that knowledge, He still gave me a charge.

And by God’s power,
By a power and love that betrayal and death
Can never overcome,
I will live out that charge until I die!
For my Savior has died
And my Redeemer lives!

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